When Not to Play

Nellie Bertram

"Oh, here's what happened. Seven forty-six, my alarm clock goes off. I hear it. Whack the snooze. Nine minutes. Bzz! Off it goes again. Whack! Seven more times I did that. Bzz, whack. Bzz, whack! By the time I got up, it was ten minutes ago. No willpower. That is my curse." -Nellie Bertram (The Office)

Do ever have those mornings where you simply just don't want to get up? When 7 am comes around, you deny its existence and cuddle a bit harder with your extra blanket. The dogs come into your room, jump all over you, and lick your face, and then you promptly fling them to the other side of your room. Anywhere between 7:12 and 7:30, you finally succeed at peeling off your covers as if they were keeping you alive. Then you go to the kitchen to make your coffee. No cream in the fridge. Awesome. You drink it black with sugar because you're flexible (and too tired to taste the difference). After your cold shower, you pack up to leave for your 9 am geology class. Then it hits you- it's Sunday morning. You're late for morning rehearsal! You make it to rehearsal around 8:45 (45 minutes late, mind you), a bundle of nerves, totally not in the right mind to worship the great and mighty I Am. About 3/4 of the way through practicing "Forever", you break your b string. Fantastic.

Does this sound like a morning you've had? Similar situations have happened to me on numerous occasions (give or take a few minor details). By 12:30, do you feel ready to give up guitar for good? Please don't. I promise you'll live. Use these opportunities to lean even less on your own understanding! Our powerful Creator is described as a Comforter in the Bible. Ask for grace in these instances.

But how do I know which occasions I shouldn't be playing in the band? What instances and sins could prevent me from properly leading? I hope to map this out in moderate detail. And remember, I write for myself and my posts are bourne out of deep personal convictions- so when you see something you don't like or disagree with, let me know! I would love discussions!

When Not to Lead

As the title of this blog post is “When Not to Play”, I will be going over a Bible passage that I feel greatly maps out what I feel a leader should and shouldn’t be and when they shouldn’t lead. And even if you don’t directly lead worship, you are on that stage and you work as a representation for Yahweh.

“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.” -1 Timothy 3:1-7

Above reproach: If you have a sin that you have not confessed and can be called out on, you do not need to be in leadership. From personal experience, I can vouch for this. People aren’t willing to follow a leader who cannot control himself, and frankly isn’t worth following.

Husband of one wife: Ummmmmm… This is likely not an issue for most of us. Let me just say this: husbands- respect your wives. Boyfriends- respect your girlfriends. Be an example in your relationships.

Sober-minded: Be a rational person! I say that like it’s simple, but it’s not. I’ve been described as “passionate”, which is an incredibly nice way of saying that I don’t control my emotions well. If you explode at simple things, you look like a freak. Situations get really tense and members of the band lose respect for you.

Self-controlled: Essentially, watch your anger and see the above discipline.

Respectable: Have you ever had the urge to tell that moderately inappropriate joke you heard at the office? Does your drummer’s arrogance just drive you absolutely insane? Well, here’s the thing- you don’t need to go around saying these things to people. Maybe sometimes you just ramble. These are not good traits of leaders.

Hospitable: Share. Buy Chick-Fil-A and do Bible study with your worship team. Make your house and your office (if you have an office) an open space for church members to come and be vulnerable to you.

Able to teach: This one is hard for me. I have an incredibly difficult time teaching. I love doing it, when given the opportunity, but I am awful at it. Spend some time learning how to teach from the teachers around you. I’m sure your pastor would love to help you teach others if you asked.

Not a drunkard: In Eph. 5:18, it says not to become drunk with wine. This has caused people to say to themselves, “Well, it’s okay if I become a bit tipsy. I’m not going to lose my senses completely.” Wellllllll, you’re wrong! Honestly, I just think you shouldn’t drink- at all.

Not violent but gentle: “I’m going to kill him”. Stop. Retry. “I’m going to ki…pray for him”. Stop. Retry. Most of us are not openly violent people. But we are, however, quite passive-aggressive. Praying for your brother is not a threat. You need to have your own heart prepared before you can pray for your brother’s. Prayer is an incredible blessing. We get to talk to God! Don’t turn your prayers into a gossip session.

Not quarrelsome: Don’t start issues with your brother. And if you do find yourself in an issue, end it. If the person doesn’t want the issue to end, and you’ve genuinely apologized, you’re in the clear.

Simple setup I'll be using for a
little while. Looking forward to it.

Not a lover of money: This one is incredibly convicting, because as a lead electric guitar player, I buy a lot of pedals. Perhaps more than I should. I’m honestly not sure. I don’t know the balance. I have, however, been using a lot less pedals. If you aren’t a steward of your money, I promise it’ll show. And people don’t find that attractive in a leader.

Manage his own household: You don’t have to have kids or be married to let this one apply to you. You can be 12, 23, or 87. As a son, I’d say the best way for you to manage your household is for you to respect your parents and siblings. As a college student, I would add on learning to be a proper husband/father from a male figure you respect.

Must not be a recent convert: According to the verse, if you are a new convert, being put in a leadership position could possibly puff you up and put you in the devil’s trap.

Well thought of by outsiders: Non-Christians have to have a good opinion of you! Why? Because if you are a jerk to unbelievers, what reason have you given them to follow Christ, never mind you? What sort of representation are you for King if you don’t make it clear to the community what His commands are?

When asking yourself if you’re not in a good position to be leading, read through 1 Timothy 3:1-7. God has blessed us with an amazing book called the Bible. We are never not equipped. Our God is the Living God. Talk to Him. He may not scream what you want to hear out of a heavenly megaphone, but in some way another, if you are listening, He will speak to you.

Thanks y’all,

Curtis Russell Howard